How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
