Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
