Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
