i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
where are my eyebrows?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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