walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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