I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
