I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
