I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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