You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
