Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
jump out the window naked night went bad
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize