I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
