Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
