I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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