worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
