you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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