I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
