We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
