There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize