then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
