im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
