so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
