I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
