His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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