So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
