we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
