I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
