ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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