I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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