It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
