I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
