Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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