If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
