How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
