The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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