It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
