smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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