Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
All I want is dick and wine.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
