This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
