that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
