my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
