when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
