I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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