we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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