I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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