Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
