I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
