dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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