I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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