but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize