No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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