THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I could fuck to npr.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
