is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
