What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
