I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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