I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
