Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
