when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
