did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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