remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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