covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
