How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize