i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
