Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
