If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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